me

It's amazing how some things just kinda present themselves to me. Randomly. Out of the blue.

Today I was in the basement doing some laundry. I passed a bookcase, down there, that is loaded with all sorts of books & other goodies from my past.

I found two old journals from yesteryear.

As I slowly paged through them, almost to the last page, I found this poem I had written....all the way back in 1992.

Thinking back, that was a strange & difficult year for me. So, the poem kind of really speaks that for me.

I had forgotten about this piece of the past.

The painting I have put the words on, above, is a painting one of my children created a couple of years ago at school.

The result, I find, is a neat juxtaposition! My past and my present, united.

Your Circle

Stumbling around on the internet I came across this saying. Honestly I am not even sure who said these words (sorry if it was you!)

The words contained really spoke to my soul though; at just the right time! (funny how that happens)

The familiar phrase, "you are the company you keep" shouts out in waves as I read this. My "circle" (as referring to the above quote) are all those people I choose to have in my life. Those people that consist of friends, acquaintances, co-workers, etc....  These people in my circle I trust. I respect. I love them, for who they are.
 They are the people that ADD to my life, not subtract!

From a young age it seems that society shoves it in our faces that our circle needs to be immense. The more you got the better life will be! (Facebook comes to mind here...)

 Trust me people!! All of those "friends" you have are not completing your circle. Really, they are not.

So, I challenge you to take a moment (or many a few hours) to really see the people in your life (your circle). Don't feel intimidated, either, to weed out the bad ones while you rope in tighter the great ones! Don't feel sorry for doing the weeding either! It's vital (at EVERY age)!

Buzz buzz...

Sorry...it has been a while since I last posted.
I wanted to share with you, though, a new book that I just received in the mail the other day.
It is called Queen Bee Moms and Kingpin Dads by Rosalind Wiseman. I first heard about this book by reading about it in the back of Rosalinds other book, Queen Bees and Wannabes.
I dived in last night, but only got through the Introduction. Yet, I have already learned SO much.
It is not your casual reading material.... you have to take notes (or in my case, underline important areas...and I have already underlined quite a bit!)

Some of the stuff I learned so far:

-In this world, many parents compete ruthlessly through their own children.

-Parents' social hierarchies influence how they guide their own children's lives.

-Your job isn't to be your child's best friend!

-Our culture makes us feel that we have to be and look a certain way so that we belong.

- In many circles, being loyal means backing up your "friends" by saying nothing, laughing, or even joining in when their actions are unethical or cruel.

I am ready and eager to continue on with the book.
Just wanted to share...

Pieces of me

I turned 41 last week. Hardly noticed a difference from 40, other than the "1" added to the end. It was a great day spent with my family. A great day indeed!
This morning I had a thought, though. It seems that lately I have been noticing a certain "calmness" in my life. Not a calmness pertaining to my daily events: taxing kids between school and games, stores and friends. For that is in no-way CALM!!  No, I feel it's a calmness that comes from inside of me. A certain calmness that, I can only expect, comes with age.(?)
As I think about it, I can compare this thought to a jigsaw puzzle.

 When I was born, someone dumped a huge box of puzzle pieces on the ground. The size and amount of pieces is overwhelming! Where does one begin? Where to start??

~As my young years start to weave together, I need lots and lots of help finding the right pieces. I need guidance putting the pieces in the right spots; making sure not to "damage or break" the ends. Sure, there will be bends and wear along the way, but with the right help, the pieces will not get lost or harmed too badly.

As I enter my young-adult life, the puzzle is forgotten about, at least for a while. Other things fill my head and my days. I may try to work a piece or two together, every now and again, but only half-hearted and not with a whole heck of a lot of care or concern.

Eventually, though, as my years continue, I "find" my puzzle again. The pieces somehow don't seem too overwhelming now. I actually sit down awhile and take time to "figure it out". I can do it on my own now! There are still a lot of "holes" in the completed piece, but I can see "the picture", though not crystal clear.

Little by little the puzzle is taking shape. A few stray pieces only remain now. The pieces seem to just "flow" together by themselves without much or any thought. I am enjoying this!

Soon, the puzzle is complete. The picture is present. The box is empty. I feel good! Looking at it closely, I can see a whole lifetime in that puzzle. The turned-up edges and chewed ends of my youth. The rough and confusing spots in the middle. And finally, the smoothness of it completeness.

As I sit and stare at the finished puzzle I just sit and smile. That puzzle was truly a journey. And I did it!

I'm OK..you're OK

Introvert- noun
a person characterized by concern primarily with his or her own thoughts and feelings ( opposed to extrovert).

About a month ago I was channel surfing mid-day and I stumbled upon the Hallmark Channel to a show called Whatever with Alexis and Jennifer. They had a guest on, who wrote a book talking about the topic of introverts. Her name was Dr.Laurie Helgoe and her book was called Introvert Power. A little bell went off in my head after just listening to her for a short bit. It was special.

It seems all my life I was characterized as "shy". From a young age it was a "character trait" that others have magically given me. My earliest memories from childhood, for me, relive a time of free-spiritness and generally fun times. I can vividly recall, though, times of severe separation anxiety. When I was seven, we moved into a new home in a whole new city. The first day of school in second grade, my mom loaded me on a school bus and off I was to an unknown place with uncharted experiences. I was terrified! I survived. I had always been "guarded" though, even as a child. I wasn't always the one to show up with a wide smile from ear to ear. If I had a dollar for every time someone (mainly strangers) told me to smile, I would be one rich lady by now! That comment though (SMILE!) even to this day drives me just about batty! I guess I never understood that I wasn't smiling, even though on the inside I was as happy as a clam.

From watching Laurie on that show, it opened my eyes to the fact that, though a bit shy, I am really more of an introvert! I began doing a bit of research and learned some interesting facts on introversion. Such as, introverts prefer the inner world of their own minds, rather than the outer world of sociability (me!) Often confused with shyness, introversion is different. The shy person finds it hard to connect with others. Where, the introverted person seeks time alone because they want that time alone, they don't necessarily even need those connections to feel OK.

I know many extroverts. Heck, my youngest daughter is a shining example! We couldn't be more different. She craves people, almost always! She gets bored easily being with herself. She feels more "complete" when she can share/be with her peers. For extraverts, activities boost their mood. They get bored by too much "aloneness". Bingo! She is a social butterfly that often has to be perched, due to her Mama's introverted ways. I have always been envious of those people that can talk a mile-a-minute and always seem to have something interesting to say. They seem to draw people to them like a magnet. They can bound into a new situation like nothing, never having to think things through or have any fears. I have many friends like this, thank goodness! We even each other out. Our bond of friendship is balanced in a great way.

My middle daughter is seeming to take after her Mama! She has always, even from the youngest of age, been VERY introverted. I would be saddened when family members, friends, and strangers would comment on how "serious" she was always. She didn't (and still doesn't) show her emotions much, mainly happiness. Though, she is a very happy girl... I can relate...I know! She loves the solitude of just being and can be more than content just "watching" than joining along. I get it now. I get her. I get ME!!

Living in, what appears, a world of extroverts is challenging to say the least! But, armed with the information that it is "very OK" to be introverted is refreshing.

pretty in pink

The other day my husband and I were talking, and the subject of home economics class, in school, came up. I have absolutely NO idea as to how we came to this topic. I find it rather odd now, but it prompted several memories (some better than others!) Suddenly I was taken back to Albright Middle School in the mid 1980's, and a very pink, and a very LARGE, sweatshirt popped into my mind!

When I entered middle school I had to welcome home economics (home ec.) class into my schedule. I didn't think much of it. It was simply the class known for baking cookies, sewing toss pillows, and all those things related to preparing oneself for the harsh reality of the world of "real life!" For the obvious reasons the girls got more giddy about home ec. than the boys did. There were a few exceptions though. The world of home ec. opened my eyes to how to bake, prepare a meal for my teacher, hand-sew, a rather groovy, patch-work toss pillow, and... AND...the dreaded pink sweatshirt! Let me just dive into the sorted details.

The class assignment was learning the "basics" on the sewing machine. Our job was to go out and purchase a pattern for a sweatshirt, buy fabric, bring it all back and get to work on it. Well, I purchased a pattern for a common crew neck sweatshirt. One important key detail that I seemed to overlook, however, was the size! I managed to get a very-off size, leaning heavily on the large size. Next mission, find fabric. After much debate, a nice bubble gum pink was settled on. Mission complete, I brought it all back to school and the process began. Yards of pink thread, several broken needles, and a whole heck of anxiety thrown in, a sweatshirt was produced. The finished product was a nice, bubble gum pink, sweatshirt dress that exceeded the length of my hands and pushed the limits, almost touching my knees! The other children surfaced withe basic gray, white, and blue sweatshirts that were "normal" sized and able to be proudly worn. No. Not me. My sweatshirt stood out about as badly as Chuck Shnerfiels blaze orange job. Luckily the teacher did not grade on correct size (she must have felt really bad for me as well). I got a decent grade and was able to tug along those bubble gum memories even to this day!



While on the subject of home ec., do schools still offer this very worthwhile class anymore? Do schools still dabble with plugging in those irons, revving up those sewing machines, and cranking up the oven temperatures? If not, why? Sure my kids learn some of those skills at our home, but many kids are not as fortunate to. Sure it is important too know how to divide fractions and properly form a sentence. But, in REAL life ( the one you and I are currently living in) it also requires one to know how to cook a simple egg, mend a fallen off button on that dress shirt, and learn that an iron is REALLY hot!!

If I thinking back, really hard, I can still smell those burnt brownies and feel the endless pin-pricks from those darn straight pins as I pinned my "quilt pillow" (which I still have, by the way!)
My gi-normous bubble gum sweatshirt may have drifted off to never-never land, but those skills and real "life lessons" that I acquired along with all the pink thread, have seen me through my entire life.