As I was in the middle of a mad-dash cleaning spree in my kitchen this morning I had a random thought; a thought that has become a "message" in my life lately... one that keeps appearing and reappearing. That message consists only of two simple words. That message is a powerful one, yet not always so easy to follow on a daily basis. The message is DON'T SETTLE!
Somewhere in one's youth the idea of "fitting in" becomes a stamp of acceptance. We try SO hard to "be like him or her" that we loose the very essence of who WE actually are. We "settle" in order to be accepted, well, at least that is what I did! Looking back now as an early 40-something, I could just kick myself for some of the things that I truly did end up settling for! I won't bore you with the details (and thank GOODNESS for a lapse of memory at times!)
Real life for me didn't kick in to high gear until around the age of 41... or was it 42?. Regardless, I came to the conclusion in my own life that life is way too precious and fragile to simply play it safe anymore and just settle.
So, I have made a list of things that I no longer will simply settle for in my own life. I am hoping and praying that my children will heed my advice and hopefully make the choice not to settle in their own lives as well.
Here we go...
Friends. One can spend a lifetime trying to make friends with the right type of people. It wasn't until very recently that I decided that the quality of people I choose to associate myself with are a direct reflection of my own beliefs, values and morals. Sure, not everyone has to be Catholic like myself. Not everyone has to like '80's music or be a cat lover. I just learned that if you really look at those people in your life that matter at the moment, search to see what your intent to have them there is. Letting go of people that don't "enhance" your life can be quite a freeing experience! I don't need a ton of people in my life to complete who I am. I am SO blessed with those people in my life that are there for the right reasons.
Things.
Boy oh boy! Looking around my cluttered basement and I am slapped right in the face with a MULTITUDE of things that I "settled" for! Maybe it was on sale and I "just couldn't pass it up!" or maybe it was a hand-me-down from great uncle Alfred that no one else wanted, yet I was kind enough to settle for letting it clutter my basement. Those things that we shop for, are given or just simply seek out should also be given "the test": do I REALLY need it now in my life OR am I just settling for it?! Chances are the answer will come screaming in your face.
Can't find the right sweater or shoes, don't settle for anything less than comfort and the price that you are willing to pay. The right things WILL come your way; you just may have to wait a little bit longer. Your money and your time is too valuable to just settle for anything, to just say you have it. Make a mental note to yourself the next time you are struggling with a purchase decision, then ask yourself, is this "it" or am I just settling?
Love.
Looking back (yet again!) I can see how "love" WAS something that I just settled for in the past; mainly high school dating days. One of the main reasons I decided to write on the topic of "don't settle" was to make a gentle reminder to my three children. I wanted them to take those two (simple) words and make them matter in their own lives. When they begin to date, don't settle for just anyone. Don't rush into just being with someone because you don't want to be alone. Sure, you will make tons of dating mistakes, but if you keep the words "don't settle" as one of your criteria you will be on the right path.
Yourself!
Huh, you may be thinking! Don't settle on yourself? Yes! What I mean by this is simple. Every day of every year we are changing and growing into a new "self". You may not see it or notice it right away, but believe me... you are!
My high school class recently had a 25th reunion. I learned to see how different I am NOW than I was back then; as are a lot of those people (thank goodness!!) I chose not to settle for how I was back then: my circumstances, my life choices, my (then current) morals. Pretty much all of those past things I chose not to just settle for. It took many years, but I was able to rise above them and be the person I am living today.
Maybe you have a lack-luster job that you find you have to push yourself to get to each day. Maybe you are struggling with some sort of addiction or dependency in your life that you have just come to accept. Maybe your faith in God is on a downward spin and you are just standing there watching it happen. Well I am here to remind you that you have a choice! You DON'T have to settle! Ever!!!
Your life and my life is oh so very precious! Things come. Love comes. But, yourself...that is something that is here to stay. Thank goodness we have the right to "not settle" in our lives! For it truly is a free gift, given freely to us all.
We, each and every one of us, just have to choose to unwrap it and give it a big ole hug.
