daddy's hands...

Rummaging through the basement book shelves unearthed some long-lost, forgotten, treasures of my past. I came across 3 small notebooks that carried my thoughts, writings and other vital words, from long, long ago- from when I was a young girl. I paged through one of those notebooks and found this short essay I had written, at an un-known date. As I sit here, coffee in hand, I felt a need to share. It seems so long ago....

I scribbled the title of Daddy's Big Hands, on the top of the page...

All grown up now, looking back to when I was a girl. I can still picture Daddy's big hands. So strong.. So worn from car oil from the "other" new (old) car in the driveway. Blistered and cracked from pounding nail after nail into the new addition to our house. Red and raw from unsuccessful scrubbing and washing, after working hour after hour after hour.... I can still see the black oil residue in his cuticles and underneath his short jagged nails.

Those big hands were the hands that tucked me into my soft bed night after night. What a simple pleasure for a man.
Every so often when I glance down at my own hands, the shape of each finger, I see my Dad's hand. If only for a moment.
But one day those big, strong hands could not work on the old Chevette in the driveway. They could no longer pound nails, painstakingly, over and over again. Those hands can no longer do their job at the factory, day after day. No longer- as they had for over 40 years.

I can still remember when mom and dad came back from the doctor and my Mom told me that Dad had cancer- and only 9 months he is expected to live. What an earful for a girl about to turn 21.
A girl who needs her father to watch her become a woman!
As the months passed, so did his ability of those two strong hands.

When Dad was laid to Rest- I can still picture in my mind how my Dad's strong, big hands looked as they clasped his rosary for ever- for the last time.
I thought of the past and of the future. Then I looked again at his hands.
Those hands won't ever hold my future babies soft delicate bodies- brush the hair of our family dogs-hold my hand as I walk down the aisle.

I feel that a person can tell a lot about someone from just looking at their hands. A story could be revealed in a matter of seconds.

Dad has been gone now for man years. He may be gone physically, but I will always remember Daddy's strong hands.

Drop a Pebble in the Water

Drop a pebble in the water: just a splash, and it is gone;

 But there's half-a-hundred ripples circling on and on and on,

Spreading, spreading from the center, flowing on out to the sea.

 And there is no way of telling where the end is going to be.

Drop a pebble in the water: in a minute you forget,

 But there's little waves-a-flowing, and there's ripples circling yet,

And those little waves-a-flowing to a great big wave have grown;

 You've disturbed a mighty river just by dropping in a stone.

Drop an unkind word, or careless: in a minute it is gone;

 But there's half-a-hundred ripples circling on and on and on.

They keep spreading, spreading, spreading from the center as they go,

 And there is no way to stop them, once you've started them to flow.

Drop an unkind word, or careless: in a minute you forget;

 But there's little waves a-flowing, and there's ripples circling yet,

And perhaps in some sad heart a mighty wave of tears you've stirred,

 And distrubed a life was happy ere you dropped that unkind word.

Drop a word of cheer and kindness: just a flash and it is gone;

 But there's half-a-hundred ripples circling on and on and on,

Bearing hope and joy and comfort on each splashing, dashing wave

 Till you wouldn't believe the volume of the one kind word you gave.

Drop a word of cheer and kindness: in a minute you forget;

 But there's gladness still a-swelling, and there's joy a-circling yet,

And you've rolled a wave of comfort whose sweet music can be heard

 Over miles and miles of water just by dropping one kind word.

                                                                          ~ James W. Foley



true colors...

And I'll see your true colors

Shining through

I see your true colors

And that's why I love you

So don't be afraid to let them show

Your true colors

True colors are beautiful,

Like a rainbow

~ Cyndi Lauper-True Colors

My youngest daughter has been asking me for several months now for me to paint her room. The color on her walls was from when she used to share the room with her older sister. The color was a pretty periwinkle that was picked out by me. ME! Not HER! And so, there is where the issue arose. SHE wanted to pick out her OWN color for her OWN room.

Being a youngest child of the family growing up I could strongly relate to this! You see, being the youngest has a weird set of dynamics attached to it. Being the youngest gets one initiated into the you-get-everyone-else's-hand-me-downs club..whether you like it or not! This includes everything from that  'too-expensive  dress that Grandma bought and older sister never wore it, but hey..youngest daughter still has a shot at wearing it' ....to..... every odd toy, trinket, book, junky-this-and-that, that sister and brother no longer want but don't want to part with ...to... sisters old bedding, shoes, hair prettys and even underwear! So, realizing that youngest daughter is entitled to a little "piece of her own" from time to time, I accepted her offer to paint her room. I figured, a gallon of paint.. how hard could that be?.  huh....

I started the conversation with daughter as such, "so, I think we should look at some paint colors to get an idea of what would be nice for your room." Before I could even finish, my daughters eyes lit up so big and she lept up into the air for joy! Finally! This was HER time to have a little piece of herself. She then continued to tell me that she knew exactly what color(S) she wanted her room. Um. colors? Yep! Colors!!

She didn't want any more "boring" color in her room. She wanted to jazz it up with 2 brightish colors of teal and green. We took several trips to the paint stores and each and everytime she came back to the same two BRIGHTISH colors of teal and green. Even with Dad's gentle persuasion, this girl was in no-way going to budge from her colorful choices. Her mind was set! Her colorful imagination was going to be splashed across her bedroom walls, whether Mom or Dad liked it or not.

Now, I took time to rationalize this colorful decision (purchase) ahead of us. "Do I really want to stare at those brightish walls everyday? Do those colors even match? Do I let her "win" this and not step in and change her mind??" But the answer that yelled back to me was... nah! Run with it! This young(est) girl is HAPPY!

I went to make the paint purchase this past weekend. I had them mix 2 cans of paint - one gallon of Simply Aqua and one gallon of Celery. I went home and got right to work. Several hours later a little girls room was transformed into a brightish room of "WOW"! When husband came in he gave me a "Whoa! This sure is bright!". Son came in and didn't make a sound...he just gave me wide eyes, and walked back out. Oldest daughter gave me an "oh, MY!"  But, when youngest daughter walked in and saw her finished room for the first time, the effort, the cost, the brightishness was ALL worth it! Her first words were, "I just LOVE it! It is so nice and BRIGHT!!"

Not all of us have the same "colors" inside each of us. Some of us (like me) tend to be sage, tan, and boring beige's. Others, like my youngest, thrive on the brightest, boldest, loudest colors in the crayon box. And, you know what? That is really fine with me. I love her vibrant personality and her brightish walls! After all, that's why I love her.

advice to a younger me...

All of us at some point in our lives have wished that we could write a letter to our younger selves. We have wished we could pass on the wisdom we have learned and help them to avoid some of the pain and struggles that we have gone through. I think that my own advice to the younger me would be quite simple. This is what I would say.

Wake up earlier more often and take the time to watch the sun rising over the hills.     

 Bend down to smell the flowers in the Spring.  

      Swim more in the Summer.   Play in the Fall leaves.   

Make snow angels every Winter.  

 Turn the TV off in the afternoon and go play with your dogs instead. 

    Don’t rush through those Sunday family dinners.

Savor every bite of food and joy in them.

Tell your Mom and Grandma you love them everyday and hug them every chance you can.    

Don’t complain about chopping wood with your Dad. Enjoy every moment you have with him.

   And don’t argue so much with your brothers. Life is too short to spend being miserable.

 Stop being so shy. Other people are just like you inside.

     

Smile more. Laugh a lot. Sing often. They are joy creators.

  Share a kind word every chance you get. Give your inner goodness to everyone.

              Don’t worry about the future. Instead enjoy this day God has given you.

Make the time to play with your young children. One day you will blink and they will be as big as you are.

            

            Quit wishing you were rich in money. Yet. rejoice at being rich in heart.

 Realize that happiness is simple. It is we who are complicated.

        

Know in your heart that God loves you just as you are. Know in your heart that you can love too.

      

Then go out and share your love with the world.

 When you do you will have the joy you have always longed for.

How I wish I could give this advice to the younger me, but I can’t. He probably wouldn’t have listened anyway. Still, it isn’t too late to follow this advice today and that is all that matters.

~ Joseph J. Mazzella ~

thai tuesday

Last night I made Thai for supper. I had never made this recipe before and wasn't sure what everyone would think. Well, it was a hit, especially with the kids! So I know it is a keeper!



Vegetarian Pad Thai

2/3 cup chili sauce (can be found in ethnic or sauce aisle)

1/4 cup brown sugar

2 tablespoons water

2 tablespoons fish sauce (ethnic aisle)

1 teaspoon dried ginger or 1 1/2 teaspoons fresh (grated)

1/2 pound wide rice noodle (I didn't have, so I used fettuccine noodles)

4 teaspoons canola (or any oil you have) divided

1 package of tofu, drained and cut in 1" cubes (that is what I used. If you want this non-vegetarian, go for the meat- chicken would be awesome!)

2 egg whites

1 whole egg

3 cloves garlic, minced

2 cups fresh bean sprouts (rinsed well)

3/4 cup cut up green onion

1/2 cup fresh cilantro, minced

1/3 cup peanuts, chopped

1 lime

1. Combine chili sauce, brown sugar, water, fish sauce, and ginger. Mix well and set aside for now.

2. Cook noodles according to package. Drain.

3. Heat 2 teaspoons of oil in large skillet (or wok, if you have..I don't have one, yet!) Heat to medium heat. Add tofu and cook until all sides are browned. Do same with meat if you choose to use it. Remove from pan.

4. Combine egg whites and whole egg in small bowl. Wisk well.

5. Heat 2 teaspoons of oil in pan, over med-high heat. Add garlic. Saute for about 20 seconds. Add egg mixture and cook until soft scrambled eggs. Stir in chili sauce mixture and noodles. Cook for a couple of minutes, blending well. Stir in tofu (meat), bean sprouts, onion and 1/4 cup cilantro. Cook about 4 minutes longer. Sprinkle extra cilantro on top, along with peanuts. Serve with cut up lime wedges.

I served with:

Sweet & Sour Cucumbers

2 cucumbers, peeled and very thinly sliced

3 green onions, sliced thin along with 2 inches of green tops

2/3 rice vinegar (ethnic aisle)

1/3 cup white sugar

Combine all in a bowl and cover. Put in refrigerator for 1/2 hour, or longer. The longer you let sit, the better it will taste!